Hey dude. No gender specific pronouns, plz & thx.
Ear weights don’t have to make your ears larger if you don’t want them to. Try to limit wearing them to a few hours & give your lobes a rest afterwards; they’re obviously not all day wear jewellery.
My heaviest pair are brass & weigh 80 grams together- the first pair I bought were Howlite rings & quite light compared to brass pieces. Most stone will weigh less than brass weights & the wider wearable surface areas will be more comfortable while you’re getting used to them. Good luck! :)