Ugh. I can’t ask people for things. Ever.
Like, I actually feel like the world’s biggest hassle on humanity by just generally existing, asking for things makes me feel like I might as well ask for neon signage & ‘WORLD’S BIGGEST NEEDIEST ASSHOLE EVER’ on a hat.
I know it’s not the case, most of the time. I know that people are (sometimes?) happy to hear from me. But feeling like I’m a huge burden by just going about my daily activities makes me feel like I am a blackhole of neediness when I actually have to ask someone for something.
My arm has gone dead & my heart is pounding from the nerves, and it’s just over something that I had already discussed with someone who I’m related to & actually gives a minor shit about me, but it’s so fucking hard not to feel like I’m abusing the shits given about me by ringing & asking for the help we agreed on.